Labyrinth What If's #3
by CrystalDreamer620
Summary: Yet another what if, in which Labyrinth is set in the 60's. Please read and review! =)


A/N: Ok, I'm back with my Labyrinth What If's. This chapter is set in a strange location, so it should be...interesting...if nothing else. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the story. (Flamers welcome. Please review.)

Disclaimer: I don't own Sarah, Jareth, or the Labyrinth. Those belong to Jim Henson and George Lucas, and as you might have guessed, I am neither one of them.

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~What if "Labyrinth" was set in the 1960's?~

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*One unsuspecting Friday afternoon, Sarah sat cross-legged in the middle of a field in the park. Though the park was usually crowded with other war protesters, but there was a huge peace rally going on at City Hall at that very time. So Sarah sat in the park, "quoting" lines from her favorite book.*

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Sarah: Dude, give me the child! Through dangers untold, and like, hardships unnumbered, I've fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City to take back the child that you have stolen. So dude, like, give him back! For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great, and peace will pull us through! No...stop the war? Damn! I can never remember that line! You have no power over me.'

*Thunder clapped, and the chimes of the clock rang out throughout the park. Sarah stood up in a swirl of cloth and beads, and motioned for her dog to follow her home.*

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Sarah: Dude, Merlin, I like, don't believe it! It's seven o'clock! Come on!

*Strange music started playing from nowhere, and a man began singing, as Sarah began running home.*

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Voice: No one can blame you for walking away. But too much rejection, uh-huh. No love injection, no no. Life can't be easy, it's not always swell. Don't tell me truth hurts, little girl. Cause it hurts like hell...

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Sarah: Man, I'm like, getting some really negative vibes from you, dude! You need to like, totally mellow out! 

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Voice: It's a song, girl. Relax.

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Sarah: But you're like, ruining the atmosphere with all your negativity!

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Voice: Aren't you late or something, girl?

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Sarah: Oh yeah!

*Sarah raced, double-time, past the hippie vans and bums camping on the street, until she finally reached her house...and her angry-looking step mother.* 

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Sarah: Man, it's not fair! 

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Mother: Oh really. Well don't stand there in the rain, come on!

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Sarah: All right, Merlin, come on.

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Mother: Not the dog!

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Sarah: But it's pouring! Shouldn't we be fair to all living things? No more cruelty to animals! Save the trees! Stop the war!

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Mother: Go on. Into the garage.

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Sarah: Oh go on, Merlin. Into the garage. Peace to you, Merlin.

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Mother: Sarah, you're an hour late. 

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Sarah: I said I'm sorry. I was into this like, totally righteous literature.

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Mother: Your father and I go out very rarely.

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Sarah: You go to your peace rallies every single weekend!

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Mother: And I ask you to baby-sit only if it won't interfere with your other plans. **Sarah: **How do you know what my plans are? You don't even ask!

*Sarah's step mother rambled on about dates, while Sarah, in the spirit of rebellious behavior, mentally changed her brother's name to Moonbeam.*

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Father: Sarah, we were worried about you. 

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Sarah: Dude, I like, can't do anything right, can I?

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Mother: She treats me like a government conspirator no matter what I do! **Father:** I'll talk to her.

*Meanwhile, Sarah had stormed up to her room, pushed through her rainbow bead curtain, and changed into dry bell-bottoms, a poet's shirt. She plopped down into her rainbow beanbag chair and began braiding her hair.*

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Sarah: Through dangers untold, and hardships unnumbered, I've like, fought my way to the castle beyond the Goblin City to take the back the child that you have stolen!

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*A knock sounded outside Sarah's doorframe, and the bead curtain parted to reveal her father holding Moonbeam.

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Father: Sarah, could I talk to you?

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Sarah: There's nothing to talk about, dude. You'd better hurry, you'll be late. **Father:** We've fed Toby and put him to bed. We should be back around midnight.

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Sarah: Dude, his name is Moonbeam. And you really wanted to talk to me, didn't you? You sent all your negative vibes this way! 

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*Sarah glanced to her empty shelf, noticing her favorite stuffed bear was gone.*

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Sarah: Starlight! Someone's been in my room again! That's like, an invasion of my personal space! This house is surrounded in negative vibes! It's so...un-mellow! Someone save me, someone take me away from this awful place!

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Moonbeam: Waa!

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Sarah: What do you want? Do you want a story? Once there was this totally righteous babe who's stepmother always made her stay home with the baby. The baby was like, so un-groovy and not at peace with his environment. The groovy babe was practically a slave. But what no one knew was that the king of the way-cool goblins fell in love with her and gave her certain powers. So one night when the baby had been particularly cruel to her, she called on those awesome goblins for help.

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Goblin: LISTEN!

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Sarah: Say your right words,' the goblins said. And we'll like, take the little dude to the Goblin City, and then you'll be free as a bird!'

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Goblin: That was deep.

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Other Goblin: As the ocean.

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Sarah: But the girl knew that the totally gnarley king would keep the baby in his castle for all of eternity, and turn it into a goblin. So she suffered in silence until one night when she was tired from doing this like, totally unfair housework, and hurt by the harsh words of her step mother, and she could no longer stand it.

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Moonbeam: WAA!

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Sarah: Chill out, little dude! I'll like, say those far out words. No, no I mustn't. I mustn't say...

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Goblins: UH!

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Sarah: I wish...I wish...

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Goblins: She's like, going to say it!

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Goblin: Say what?

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Goblins: SHUT UP!

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Goblin: You shut up!

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Goblin: This weed sure is groovy.

*The goblin took a puff from the joint he held in his grubby little hand,and passed it around. And a dozen stoned goblins coming to steal your baby brother is not_ a good thing.*_

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Goblin: Listen! She's going to say the words!

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Sarah: Dude, I can't take much more of this! Goblin King, Goblin King, my brother's on weed! Please grant me this one heroic deed!

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Goblin: That's not it!

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Goblin: Where'd she learn that rubbish?

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Goblin: It doesn't even start with "I wish!"

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Sarah: Oh Moonbeam, stop it! I wish I _did_ know what to say to make the goblins come and take you away.

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Goblin: I wish the goblins would come and take you away right now,' It's not that hard, is it?

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Sarah: I wish...I wish...

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Goblin: Did she say it?

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Goblins: Shut up! Shut up!

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*The tension built up in the room, and the goblins puffed more furiously on their joints, as Sarah said "the words."

Sarah: I wish the goblins would come and take you away...right now.

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*The girl flicked furiously at the light switch, but in the climax of the storm, the electricity was shorted out.*

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Sarah: Toby? 

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Goblin: He he ha! Ho he ha!

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*Goblins appeared all over the room, each vanishing from sight just as Sarah caught a glimpse. Suddenly, as if from nowhere, the Goblin King was towering over Sarah, the trademark smirk crossing his face.*

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Sarah: Man, you're him, aren't you? The Goblin King? Please, like, give me the little dude back. Please, if it's all the same.

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Jareth: What's said is said.

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Sarah: But dude, mellow out! I didn't mean it.

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Jareth: Oh, you didn't?

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*Sarah was becoming increasingly mad at the Goblin King. She eyed him up and down: Jareth was dressed in brown flared tights, a tye-dye t-shirt, and a brown fringed vest. He didn't look much like a goblin king.*

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Sarah: Please, dude, where is he?

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Jareth: You know very well where he is.

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Sarah: God, you're disturbing the balance with all your negative vibes, man. Please bring him back. Please!

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Jareth: Sarah, go back to your room. Play with your lava lamp, and guitar. Forget about the baby.

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Sarah: I can't.

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Jareth: Silly girl. I've brought you a gift.

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Sarah: Dude, what is it?

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*Sarah watched in awe as the man pulled a crystal ball out of nowhere. It was a clear glass globe, with swirls of colors that strongly resembled tye-dye.*

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Jareth: It's a crystal. Nothing more. But if you turn it this way and look into it, it will show you your dreams. But it's not an ordinary gift for a girl who takes care of a screaming baby. Do you want it? Then forget the baby.

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Sarah: Dude, that's deep, man. And your crystal sure is groovy, but I can't. It's not that I don't appreciate what you're offering, but I have to have my brother back. Please, he must be so scared. And those goblins are stoned!

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Jareth: Sarah, don't defy me!

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*With that, Jareth tossed the crystal at Sarah. Her first reaction was to duck, but as soon as she saw what the crystal had become, she caught her gift with expert precision.*

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Sarah: Jareth? You're giving me weed?

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Jareth: Dude, this stuff is amazing. Or perhaps you'd still like to see your dreams? Darling, some LSD can be arranged. But girl, you're no match for my labyrinth on this stuff. 

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Sarah: But I need my baby brother back!

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Jareth: Moonbeam's there. In my castle. Do you still want to look for him?

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Sarah: Is that the castle beyond the Goblin City?

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Jareth: Turn back, groovy chic. Turn back while you still can!

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*Jareth conjured a joint, and took a long puff on it.*

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Sarah: I can't, man. Don't you understand I can't?

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Jareth: What a pity. 

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Sarah: Dude, it doesn't look that far.

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Jareth: It's further than you think. Time is short. You have thirteen hours in which to solve the labyrinth, before your baby brother becomes one of us...forever. Such a pity. Peace out.

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*Much to Sarah's relief, Jareth disappeared in a cloud of smoke smelling faintly of...well, it's sooo_ obvious!*_

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Well...that turned out...strange. And longer than I expected. Sorry for the multiple drug references, but it was a major part of the 60's. But please note that I don't endorse drugs in any way, and find them quite repulsive. As always, remember to review cuz it makes me happy. (*_*)

~CrystalDreamer620~


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